Black Tar Heroin Is My Fallback Plan

Ingredients:
(1) Albacore Tuna, solid white, can
(1) Dill Pickle, kosher, spear
(1) Romaine Lettuce, leaf
(2) Swiss Cheese, slice
(2) Multi-Grain Bread, sweet, dark, thick, slice
(2) Miracle Whip, tbsp.
(1) Pickle Brine, tbsp.
(1) Mustard, tbsp.
(1) Honey, tbsp.
(1/2) Salt, tbsp.
(1/3) Butter, tbsp.
(Large) Pepper, pinch

Tools:
tbsp.
butter knife
can opener
plate, glass
bowl, mixing
toaster

Instructions:
-Open can of tuna fish, drain water, empty into mixing bowl. Mix in salt, pepper, mustard, pickle brine. (1) can makes two tuna fish sandwhiches.

-Place bread slices in toaster till browned or until preferred crispiness achieved, remove toast from toaster. Place swiss in between bread slices to soften. Spread butter, honey, and miracle whip with butter knife onto top slice.

-Spoon (1/2) of tuna onto top slice. Place romaine onto tuna. Remove top slice and flip bottom slice swiss side down onto romaine.

- Flip sandwich over. Cut in half with butter knife. Serves (1).

Nutrition:
If served with pickle, (1) serving contains:

Calories 722.80
from fat 278.33
Fat 33.20g
saturated 12.92g
trans 07.22g
Cholesterol 93.25mg
Sodium 2555.50mg
Potassium 334mg
Carbohydrates 73g
dietary fiber 08g
sugars 27.80g
Protein 41.25g

Ingredients:
(1) Hamburger, pre-grilled, well done, patty
(1) Egg, Jumbo
(1) Dill Pickle, kosher, spear
(1) Swiss Cheese, slice
(1) Multi-Grain Bread, sweet, dark, thick, slice
(1) Miracle Whip, tbsp.
(1) Ketchup, tbsp.
(1/2) Honey, tbsp.
(1/3) Butter, tbsp.
(Large) Pepper, pinch
(Large) Salt, pinch

Tools:
tbsp.
butter knife
plate, microwavable
microwave
toaster

Instructions:
-Place hamburger patty onto microwaveable plate. Crack open egg, separate yolk from albumen. Taking care to prevent excess albumen from flowing onto plate, place yoke in center of patty. Salt and pepper yolk. Place container in microwave and set for (1) minute at full power.

-At (35) second mark open microwave door and quickly perforate yolk to prevent explosive expansion of hot air. Close door for remainder of (35) seconds.

-At completion of (1) minute open microwave door and quickly place swiss slice onto patty. Close door to allow time for swiss to soften.

-Place bread slice in toaster till browned or until preferred crispiness achieved, remove toast from toaster. Spread butter and honey with butter knife.

-Remove patty from microwave, place swiss and yolk side down onto toast. Add ketchup and miracle whip to top of patty.

-Allow to sit and cool. Serves (1).

Nutrition:
If served with pickle, (1) serving contains:

Calories 729.33
from fat 381.33
Fat 42.46g
saturated 17.33g
trans 08.70g
Cholesterol 401mg
Sodium 1680mg
Potassium 109.10mg
Carbohydrates 41.50g
dietary fiber 02g
sugars 18.90g
Protein 45.70g

Ingredients:
(1) Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner, box
(1) Egg, Jumbo
(1) Butter, tbsp.
(1) Ranch, tbsp.
(1/2) Salt, tbsp.
(1/4) Sharp Cheddar, Shredded, cup
(1/4) Ricotta Cheese, Whole Milk, cup
(1/2) Milk, Whole, cup
(Large) Pepper, pinch

Tools:
tbsp.
cup
container, microwavable, (8) cup
microwave

Instructions:
-Pour Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner macaroni into container, fill container to (1) cm above macaroni with hot tap water. Add salt and pepper, stir. Place container in microwave and set for (10) minutes at full power.

-At (2) minute mark remove container from microwave. Crack egg , add butter, pour milk into container, stir till blended. Return container to microwave for remainder of (2) minutes.

-At completion of (2) minutes remove container from microwave. Add Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Dinner cheese sauce mix, ranch, cheddar, ricotta, stir till blended. If thinner sauce desired add (1/4) cup milk or until preferred consistency achieved.

-Allow to sit and cool. Serves (2) - (4).

Nutrition:
If divided into (3) equal servings, (1) serving contains:

Calories 407
from fat 159
Fat 22g
saturated 10.66g
trans 00.63g
Cholesterol 148.33mg
Sodium 1060.33mg
Potassium 155.70mg
Carbohydrates 54.16g
dietary fiber 01g
sugars 11.50g
Protein 18.73g